You are absolutely depleted I heard Simon my acupuncturist say after taking my pulse. It wasn’t news to me, I really do feel a bit tired to say the least. I think I gave him a look of well what can I do about that. Did I feel defeated? Absolutely not. How can I when over the last 5 weeks I have been on the receiving end of some pretty awesome things.
Every day I open my door to people from all over, mothers, fathers, young people, older people, friends, strangers, busy people with busy lives. I watch how they talk to my boy, I look how they begin to see what I can see when I look into his eyes, I feel how they start to believe in that same hope that runs strong in our house. I wonder how they keep finding the encouragement to return to our little home, some from far away, week after week to help with the same routine I follow every day with progress being very slow, but still there, I wonder about a lot of things. Do they just feel sorry for me or do they believe like I do that Roki will get better.
The answers lie in the way I see them touch my boy, the way they encourage him in the way I do, the way they talk to him like he understands what is happening, like he is there. They believe, just like I do. They come back every week, some several times a week just like I get up every morning to take on the same task because it is the best I can do for my boy and it gives me such hope, hope that he will one day run with the wind in his hair and the sun on his face.
I can’t wait to open my door again tomorrow to all of you who have come into our lives to share the pain, to help, to heal and restore what has been depleted.
Depleted not defeated. How can I be with all those hands carrying me.