It’s been almost a year since I’ve written. If you ask me what I’ve been doing I can easily tell you that all you need to do is come and have a look tomorrow as mostly each new day is just the same as yesterday. I even wrote a song about it and I sing it very loudly in the car and the shower.
It may seem to you that I’ve perhaps hit rock bottom and being stuck in the house doing almost exactly the same thing every day has really taken its toll on me. But, I tell you what, in the last three hundred and something days I have grown to understand so much more about Roki and his journey. I’ve gone from the mother who wants to fix my beautiful hurt boy to the mother who could stand back a little and think that perhaps Roki is trying to teach us all a little something.
People say I will write about it, I will speak about it in years to come, and I think, what will I speak about? How to do the same exact thing every day and not lose your mind? How to feed someone with a syringe?? No, it’s bigger than that, it made me really think and tune into what Roki is trying to teach me and us as a family and everyone around him.
Roki is showing me that there are people that have so much heart, so much love to give and it is so easily overlooked.
Yes, we have been bogged down this whole year working hard on Roki and going through some tough times but never was there a time where we felt alone and events keep unfolding in front of us that make us stagger back in awe of the compassion that gets handed to us and Roki by sometimes complete strangers in the community.
I sense that Roki has a bigger sense of community than a lot of us. With his little hands that he cannot use, and his skinny little arms he has pulled us all close in a great big hug, so much heart, so much love, how lucky we are Roki, I thank you Roki for letting me see so much heart around me.